If you're stuck in a toxic cycle it is an incredible painful experience, trust me I know. The temptation can be to put all the emphasis on how your partner, or toxic ex, needs to change, or how the relationship needs to change. However, what we often don't realise is that the only way things are really going to change is when we work on ourselves. In my own experience, it wasn’t until I sought help for myself that I began breaking toxic relationship patterns and found the strength to make healthier choices.

Where to Start When Breaking Toxic Relationship Patterns...

• Build Your Self-Worth and Boundaries: If you've been in a toxic dynamic it's likely that your self-worth has been eroded over time and you may struggle with boundaries. That's why it's crucial to start here and build this foundation to move towards healthier love.

• Increase Self-Awareness: Understanding your past and patterns, helps you heal and empowers you to make intentional, informed choices.

• Heal Attachment Wounds: By exploring your attachment style and past traumas, you can work towards secure attachment.

• Manifest Your Vision for Love: Clarify what you truly desire in a relationship and create a path toward achieving it.

• Improve Communication: Learn how to express your feelings and needs vulnerably to foster a stronger connection.

My Personal Journey

In the past, I was consumed with trying to "fix" others. I read books, listened to podcasts, and sought ways to change the other person —all to no avail. Eventually, I realised that focusing outside of myself was distracting me from the work I needed to do within myself.

I began to explore how my own experiences have influenced my relationships. Through this process, I built self-awareness, self-worth, and resilience. Eventually, I recognised that I had more options than I initially thought, and I made the decision to break a toxic relationship dynamic. With the support of therapists and coaches, I deep-dived into my attachment wounds, childhood trauma, and relationship patterns, laying the foundation for a healthier approach to love.

After doing inner work, I returned to dating with a stronger sense of self and soon met my current partner.

Final Thoughts

Ultimately, taking control of your personal growth leads to greater happiness and consciousness. It really is the only way to break out of toxic relationship pattern. In my coaching practice I work with clients to help them heal their own wounds and patterns after a toxic relationship, so they have the self-worth to invite in the love they deserve.

If this resonates with you, I'd love to work together and help you break those patterns for good.

Author - Rosie Fox, ICF & CPD Certified Coach specialising in Toxic Relationship Recovery, trained in counselling (BACP), NLP, and trauma-informed approaches. Dedicated to helping women heal after toxic relationships and create healthy love.